If you have a toddler at home — or have had one — you know how challenging this phase can be. Toddlers between the ages of one and three (sometimes even four) often go through stages where they simply refuse to listen or follow instructions.
So the big question many parents ask is: how do you get a toddler to listen?
The first step is understanding why toddlers behave this way. During this stage of development, children want independence. They want to make choices and do things on their own, but they are not yet fully capable of doing so. This can lead to frustration, tantrums, crying, and screaming.
One mom from Organic Baby Formula Shop shared a story about her toddler becoming jealous of a new baby sibling. The toddler looked her mother straight in the eyes, dropped her pants, and deliberately pooped on the floor.
Instead of reacting angrily, the mother calmly cleaned it up and gave her toddler a hug. She gently explained that next time they would try to use the potty. She reassured her child that she was still loved and important, even with a new baby in the family.
Understand Your Toddler’s Feelings
Before reacting, try to understand what your toddler may be feeling. Are they frustrated? Seeking attention? Testing boundaries?
Sometimes forcing obedience does not help. Instead, encouraging positive behavior with small rewards or praise can be much more effective.
For example, one parent successfully toilet-trained her toddler by placing the potty nearby and offering a small reward when the child used it. The simple incentive helped create a positive habit very quickly.
Use Simple Words
Toddlers process language differently than adults. Long sentences can easily overwhelm them.
Instead of saying:
“Please could you go and brush your teeth now?”
Try using short and simple words like:
- Teeth
- Hair
- Plates
Short instructions are easier for toddlers to understand and follow.
Make Your Toddler Feel Important
Toddlers want to feel included and valued. If a problem arises, try involving them in the solution.
For example, if their favorite ice cream is gone, ask questions like:
- Where can we buy ice cream?
- Is the store open right now?
- Should we ask mommy or daddy to bring some home?
This helps toddlers feel heard and respected.
Stay Calm
Parenting toddlers can be exhausting. You may feel like you are repeating instructions over and over again. However, staying calm and modeling good communication can help your child learn how to resolve problems peacefully.
If a situation turns into a shouting match, everyone loses — especially your toddler who is still learning how to manage emotions.
Helpful Parenting Resources
One book we highly recommend is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk .
Talking with other parents, teachers, and caregivers can also be incredibly helpful. Parenting becomes easier when we share experiences and advice with one another.